Why I read a Terms Of Use Agreement

With everything going on in the U.S., a pending Presidential assassination and government takeover in Venezuela, a full-on privatization of Gaza, the dismantling of the U.S. government, and the likely election of a Muslim Socialist Mayor in New York City... I decided to take a break and read the new updated Mint Mobile Terms Of Service Agreement.

That may not sound like fun to you, because it isn’t.

I read it because I received an email announcing the changes to their Terms and Privacy Policy. And I found the last line in tat email to be inappropriately sarcastic. It reads “Thanks for being a Mint customer (and for reading all of this).” So, I figured “up yours,” I’m going to read this.

I read the Terms agreement. I like the use of that word “Agreement.” It means that legally we agree. But there is nothing at all agreeable about the Terms. Bottom line, here’s what the new Mint Mobile Terms say:

• You bought our services, and you will pay for them.
• You can cancel at any time.
• We can cancel at any time too, and we don’t have to have a reason.
• You can ask for a refund if you are unhappy. We don’t have to give you a refund.
• We can change the service you pay for at any time, in any way we want, without notice, and for any reason. Meaning, we have absolutely NO obligation whatsoever to provide you with what we sold you.
• If we do something wrong, YOU AGREE TO RESOLVE ANY DISPUTE WITH US THROUGH INDIVIDUAL BINDING ARBITRATION OR SMALL CLAIMS DISPUTE PROCEDURES, AND YOU WAIVE YOUR RIGHTS TO A JURY TRIAL AND TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT.
• WE MAY LIMIT, THROTTLE, ADJUST, SUSPEND OR TERMINATE YOUR SERVICE OR AGREEMENT WITHOUT NOTICE AT ANY TIME AND FOR ANY REASON, including if you use your Service or Device in a manner that is excessive, unusually burdensome, or unprofitable to us. So, regarding the “Unlimited Plan” you bought... we can throttle, adjust, suspend, or terminate your plan if we don't like how you use the service, or if we feel we aren’t making as much money as we want.

What these terms are is a Fuck The Consumer Legal Masterclass. In that regard they are an interesting read.

These terms are a clear sign of just how far from any sense of basic fairness in commerce we have come.

These terms serve as an example of the breadth and scope of Consumer Protection reforms that are urgently needed.

The basic business value proposition used to be “My business has this cool thing, pay me for it and I’ll give it to you, and I’ll do all I can to see that you’re satisfied.”

Today, the basic business value proposition is “I have this thing you want, pay me for it and I’ll give it to you as long as doing so benefits me. Not happy? Unsatisfied? Too bad!”

I’m going to look for something more fun to read now.